BREAKING NEWS—Chicago, IL
“Donut Ice Cream Sandwich.” The conclusions of a groundbreaking study published by a collection of many of the leading neuroscientists in the nation have unequivocally confirmed that these four words (when introduced consecutively) simply cannot be comprehended by the human brain (not true). Apparently the stimulus to the cerebral cortex is so overwhelming that all logical thought processes are suspended for a period of 3-7 minutes, depending upon which ice cream flavor and topping or sauce has been selected by the subject (not true).
The Journal of Unimportant Nonexistent Knowledge (JUNK) has credited “Firecakes Craft Donuts” with the discovery of this unexpected creation (hmmm, half of that could possibly be true).
In an additional, and unexpected announcement, a singular (and unnamed) employee of “Henry’s Take” has selflessly volunteered to serve as a willing participant in the ongoing study of this important discovery, “for as long as it takes. Seriously, as long as it takes. I truly believe in the incredible combination of flavors created by the Donut Ice Cream Sandwich. Wait, what I meant to say was that I totally believe in this sector of Science.”
Stay tuned for updates to this developing story across all local and national media outlets.
Firecakes Craft Donuts
68 West Hubbard Street
Chicago, Illinois
(312) 329-6500
www.firecakesdonuts.com
