Breakups are the worst, don’t you think? They may cost less than a root canal, but they’re typically just about as enjoyable. You cross that threshold when you realize that this just isn’t going anywhere and then struggle with how to extricate yourself from a bad situation. You ponder the typical, “It’s not you, it’s me” opener, but the whole time you’re thinking, “Oh, it’s totally YOU!!! I mean, how have I not come to this conclusion sooner? Note to self, I really must start listening to my friends and family more often.”
Well good news is in order as Henry’s Take has a simple 3 step plan designed to guide you through this difficult moment.
Step 1: Invite him/her casually to Breakfast Republic.
Step 2: This is important as the whole transaction hinges on getting this part right. You MUST be decisive here and leave no room for ambiguity! Immediately after you’re seated you need to slide the wrapped silverware over to them with the message FACE UP. Once they’ve read it, you need to pause for approximately 1.2 seconds (@danavoros 😉) to let the message register, and then give them the upward and directional “nod” (always in the direction of the exit). Be careful to never break eye contact (decisive, remember!), and then boldly announce, “Check please!” That oughta do the trick!
Step 3: Once they’re gone we’d recommend that you enjoy your newly minted freedom and order the “Jurassic Pork Benedict.”
Please be aware, @breakfastrepublic isn’t kidding about the “No Reservations” thing, so plan accordingly.
And that’s…Henry’s Take.
P.S. If you are dating someone who happens to also be a Henry’s Take follower, and they invite you casually to Breakfast Republic, you may want to ask a few questions in advance.
#breakfastbreakups
Breakfast Republic
251 North El Camino Real
Encinitas, California
(760) 452-2121
www.breakfastrepublic.com
